thoughts and things

I baked last night, the post on that will be coming soon. I didn’t love it and in fact, I’m going to bake something else before I go to this dinner party and bring both.  I don’t think this is true, I hope this can never be true, but my first round had too much chocolate….too much!?  Really, Jordan?  That’s not real space…that’s fake person space… I also realized last night, I need new baking gear…pans, spatulas, etc.  On my list of things.

I saw an accident on my way to work today.  Like, not saw from a distance, but literally the car that caused the accident stopped (or made it happen) right next to me.  I’m so lucky.  I’m so lucky I didn’t get hit.  This minivan rear ended a car at a stop light in the middle lane, which led to that car hitting another car, maybe another car hit the minivan and the far left lane also was involved in the damage…I’d say a total of 8 cars were involved.  I sat there, shocked (it was 7:30 in the morning) and I couldn’t take my eyes off the guy in the driver seat of that blue minivan.  His airbag had gone off, someone was in his passenger seat, the minivan was full of stuff and he just stared forward…I think in shock.  The guy in the accident behind him got out of his car and yelled.  He yelled and yelled and yelled, the driver didn’t take his eyes away from forward.  A few other people got out of their cars, a girl on the sidewalk on her way to school called 911 (I think).  I heard her say that there was a fire house just down the street and they were bound to be there soon. 

I kept thinking: that poor man.  How terrible.  What happened?  Was he not paying attention?  Was he having an argument?  I hope he’s not drunk.  I hope his passenger is ok…I hope he is ok.

Then the light turned green.  The car in front of me went, so I went.  As soon as I could I pulled over and called 911.  It’s the first time I have ever called 911 in my life.  I talked to the dispatcher, told him where the accident was.  He asked if I was involved in the accident, I said no, it just happened right next to me.  He asked if there was need for an ambulance, I said I think so, the guy who caused it looks like he’s in pretty bad shape and in shock.  Then I was told that a call had already been placed regarding that accident and thank you for calling.  I hung up, I turned my car back onto the main street and drove to work.  I called Rory, I told him what happened, that I was ok, that I was lucky but I felt like I hadn’t done enough.  I was holding back tears.  The whole thing really shook.  He told me that I did all that I could do and it was good that I had called 911. We said ‘I love you.’ and got off the phone.  I tweeted to my local NPR station about the accident.  I continued to work.

I’ve been thinking about it for 6 hours.  I even googled to see if I could find out if everyone was ok.  I can’t stop thinking about that man’s face.  About the look in his eyes as he just starred forward with his hands shaking.  Could he even hear the guy that yelled at him?  Why was that guys such and asshole?  Yeah, there was an accident and you were involved…but there’s a need for common human caring.  What if he was in the that car, wouldn’t he want someone to HELP him not YELL at him? 

I feel like I could have done more…I should have done more.

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